At first glance you wouldn’t think that knitting and parenting had all that much in common. After all, the early years of being a parent are hardly replete with free time to pursue crafty endeavours.
But now that my boys are almost grown (aged 17 and 18) I can look back at the early days and definitely see parallels between the way that I approached these two very separate things:
Patience. I am not, by nature a patient person. In fact I am renowned in my family for the fact that I refuse to queue or wait more than a few minutes for almost anything. But in parenting, as in knitting, patience is a must. Whether you want to be patient or not you have no choice in the matter. A 600-stitch laceweight shawl won’t be rushed any more than a toddler determined to examine every snail on the way to nursery. It will happen in it’s own good time and you may as well slow down and enjoy the ride.
Perseverance. Closely related to number 1 but definitely deserving of it’s own special category. Just as knitting requires you to perform the same repetitive action over and over again, parenting requires the same. Countless re-reads of the same favourite bedtime book or innumerable requests to ‘find your shoes’, ‘clean your teeth’, ‘stop hitting your brother’.
Penalties. I was probably fairly middle of the road when it came to being strict with my kids. I’m not about to share my parenting strategies online for fear of running foul of the ‘Mumsnet brigade’ (although I don’t think they have much of a toe-hold in my corner of Substack) but it’s fair to say that when all of my buttons had been pushed we all benefited from a bit of time-out. Me as much as the boys. It gave space for us all to take a breather, regroup and then come back to the fray feeling a little calmer. It’s exactly the same with knitting projects. Sometimes you just can’t see a way through a particular problem, or your nerves are worn to a frazzle by trying to get something to work. In those times, stepping back and taking a break, putting your WIP on the naughty step for a while, can work wonders.
There are probably more parallels to be drawn but I think you get the general idea. As an aside I think it’s interesting that I returned to knitting after becoming a parent. I learnt as a child from my Nana, dabbled a bit as a teenager but then set it aside in favour of other things. When I was married and during our long ‘trying for a family’ phase I took up tapestry and really enjoyed the slow, methodical nature of stitching. When babies did come along however (a bit like buses - after years of waiting two arrived within 11 months of each other) a cumbersome tapestry frame wasn’t the kind of craft that could be safely left lying around.
A small piece of knitting however could neatly be stashed on a higher shelf, able to be picked up/put down according to the toddler demands of the say. Interestingly as well it enabled the boys to see that sometimes mummy was busy with something - that wasn’t them. They quickly learned to appreciate that sometimes they had to wait a minute or two - the inevitable ‘just let me finish this row’ - was often on my lips. But I think it emphasised that they were separate to me, and were often capable of doing something by themselves without me immediately jumping in to help.
Again, as with knitting, a bit of independence and resilience is never a bad thing.
Oh yes, knitting does make you a better parent. It stopped the utter boredom when they were playing quietly and didn’t need me, but needed my presence.
I’ll tell you a funny story from when I was a child. I learned to knit quite young (5? 6?). One day we were waiting to go out, my mother was knitting an Aran jumper. She asked us to wait until she’d got to the end of the row and then I watched in horror as she started a new row! 😳 How dare she! I didn’t say anything as my dad and brothers had no idea what she’d just done, but I can remember my feeling of outrage! Reverse patience!
Loved this one, Louise! I knitted a lot around my young children too. My kids would say things like “tich marker” to other kids and be surprised that they didn’t know what it was! 😂😅