I have to say thank you to Gabrielle of
for this little nugget of wisdom today. Gabrielle shared it to her Instagram stories and it was the first thing that I saw this morning when I logged in - and wow did it get my attention.I love Matt Haig’s writing anyway and his books The Midnight Library, How to Stay Alive and The Comfort Book are well-thumbed staples on my bookshelf.
But this quote really struck me. Perhaps it’s as a consequence of coming so soon after Black Friday when it seemed that everyone and everything was out to sell me something.
“THE WORLD IS increasingly designed to depress us. Happiness isn’t very good for the economy. If we were happy with what we had, why would we need more? How do you sell an anti-ageing moisturiser? You make someone worry about ageing. How do you get people to vote for a political party? You make them worry about immigration. How do you get them to buy insurance? By making them worry about everything. How do you get them to have plastic surgery? By highlighting their physical flaws. How do you get them to watch a TV show? By making them worry about missing out. How do you get them to buy a new smartphone? By making them feel like they are being left behind. To be calm becomes a kind of revolutionary act. To be happy with your own non-upgraded existence. To be comfortable with our messy, human selves, would not be good for business.”
― Matt Haig, Reasons to Stay Alive
“To be calm becomes a kind of revolutionary act”
That’s such an impactful statement and it made me realise just how much of my purchasing decisions could have been influenced by clever marketing, designed to pull at my insecurities.
There is someone I know, who shall remain nameless who I’ve always admired for this. Although he is in his early 20s and surrounded by friends with all the latest gadgets and social media accounts he remains resolutely unbothered by it. He has an ancient mobile phone that does the bare minimum, and isn’t online at all. He doesn’t drink and while he’s happy to socialise with pals he doesn’t feel the need to succumb to peer pressure or to adapt his behaviour in any way.
I aspire to be a little more like him - although I definitely couldn’t do without the joy that social media brings me (most days).
Most of us though can read the above paragraph and see at least some of the ways that we can be susceptible to the marketeers guile. The urge to fit in is compelling, particularly as women where we have been socialised from a young age not to stand out from the crowd.
To be calm, to be secure in the knowledge that you have enough, that you are enough does indeed feel like a rebellious act in today’s capitalist society.
If you’d like to read more of Gabrielle’s work here’s a link to one of her recent posts that I think you might like.
You may have noticed that I didn’t share a Friday catch-up email last week - partly due to Black Friday overwhelm (and partly because I wasn’t feeling well). It all just felt a little too much and I was sure your inbox, like mine, would be feeling the seasonal strain. But I’ll be back to my usual posting schedule this week, never fear :)
My Monday thoughts emails are usually available to paid subscribers only, however today seemed like a good day to share this one more freely. If you’d like to support my work here and either subscribe or share this post with a friend please just tap the buttons below - with my very grateful thanks.
Funny where our society reveals itself. That too full shopping cart at the checkout line. The estate sale that had rooms and rooms of Christmas decorations and needlecraft kits that were never opened!?! And 5 or 6 of many tools in the garage and kitchen. Many still in their original boxes! Yes, it could be a couple who both had dementia, but it looked to me like people comforting their anxieties with shopping. Like the grand parents who compete with new stuffed animals for their grandbabies. Making sure that the kid gets as anxious as they are, as soon as possible.
Calmness can be very disquieting to anxious people. It reveals how loud their inside is, with no way to tone it down. Or at least, no way that they have discovered. Like children who have grown up around nightly gunfire and sirens on the streets, it is what they are used to, and thus silence is now menacing. They say it takes 27 days to change most unwanted behaviors. Without knowing this, any less faithful attempt only convinces one that they are hopelessly caught in the rat race. But most of us can learn to calm the storm we unwittingly stir-up. It just takes a plan and sticking to it for a month or so. 🙂
I very much enjoy Matt Haig’s work as well, and I’m also very glad I found this post today - thank you!