I’ve had a draft blog post sitting in my computer files for years now. Roughly entitled ‘why knitting has made me a better parent’ it has sat there, looking at me, the seed of a blog idea for a very long time.
The reason it has probably never seen the light of day is that, truthfully it sounds a little arrogant to my ears. Who am I to say that I’m a good parent, I’m certainly ‘good enough’ in that my kids are still here - happy and healthy and fed - but who am I to say that I’m better than other parents. Particularly just because of the fact that I knit.
Leaving aside the whole imposter syndrome thing and of course the very British trope of not wanting to blow your own trumpet I do really believe that knitting has brought me a lot of benefits over the years.
The first thing that people say on discovering that I’m a knitter (apart from ‘will you knit me a sweater’) is ‘Oh, you must have so much patience’. This always makes my family laugh like drains as I am well known for my lack of patience.
In fact it is a family joke that I will do anything to avoid queuing. Having to wait more than a few minutes for anything - even something I really want - will have me toe-tapping and fidgeting. It’s not something I’m proud of, even when I can see that hard-pressed staff are doing their best. I just can’t stand/sit still and patiently wait.
I can however knit. And the long suffering stripy sock in my handbag gets a lot of use at times like this. It allows me to channel my fidgets and my anxiety into something that my brain perceives as a more ‘useful’ use of my time. Instead of getting cross or more anxious my brain can relax a little, safe in the knowledge that waiting time equals more sock knitting time.
One of the things that I think knitting really helps with is what I like to think of as ‘quick wins vs slow gains’.
It gives me a quick win - it helps me deal with more difficult moments in a way that works for me.
But it also gives me a slow gain - eventually I get a pair of socks out of it.
Unlike reading a book or scrolling on my phone, knitting gives me double benefits.
And I think that applies to a lot of knitting (and indeed other slower craft) projects.
The very act of doing something reduces your heart rate and calms you down. The fact that you also have the added benefit of a finished ‘something’ at the end is almost a bonus. But a very welcome one - as my well filled sock drawer will attest.
Something else which has been helping me in my mindfulness journey recently is slowing down and going back to my childhood love of ‘colouring in’. A discussion recently with Gabrielle of The Haven substack reminded me that I had actually lost touch with activities that I genuinely found to be fun. Especially since knitting became my job. Gabrielle asked what I used to do as a child that I enjoyed, and the answer for me was ‘colouring in’.
And so I thought I’d give it a go. Setting aside my perfectionism and raiding my sons’ coloured pencil stash proved to be remarkably therapeutic.
I’m certainly not presenting a colouring-in sheet as the cure for all ills. And heaven knows, it can seem especially trivial when faced with the real world concerns of so many. But maybe that’s why it is so useful.
We are back to quick wins vs slow gains again I guess.
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