Please age appropriately
There is no place for ageism in our crafts.
This phrase popped into my head while I was driving the other morning and then of course promptly skittered away before I could write it down.
At the time I was musing over a ridiculously ageist comment I’d seen online earlier - something about it being inappropriate for ‘old people’ to dance at a festival.
It was obviously a ludicrous click-baitey kind of post designed to elicit a reaction (I sat on my hands - but I did read some of the comments). A surprising number of people seemed to think this was a perfectly acceptable sentiment - and boy - they didn’t like it when the inherent ageism of their comment was pointed out to them.
“Oh, I didn’t mean all old people, just this particular celebrity” was a common response along with a comment that their dress/outfit was also not appropriate for someone of ‘that age’
Really? I’d love to see what defines being old these days, especially as I turn 53. Just imagine that folks of our venerable age can cause offence or anxiety simply by existing at a music festival or dancing at a family wedding.
So often people paraphrase this statement and then forget that it applies to them too - “That celebrity you are mocking for being too old, too young, too fat, too thin, too under-dressed, too over-dressed, too short…” they will never see or care about your comment.
But those reading your thoughtless, careless words will. Those people who secretly look in the mirror and worry that they are indeed ‘too old, too short etc’. They will see it.
They might put that slinky red dress back in the wardrobe and wear the old, looser black one instead, the one that they think will help them to blend in more and not draw attention to themselves. They will internalise that unhelpful comment along with a whole heap of other societal prejudices and turn it around onto themselves.
You only need to glance at the cover of all the celebrity magazines in the supermarket to see that body shaming is alive and well in the 21st century, despite all of our efforts to dispel it.
You have probably heard of this wonderful poem from Jenny Joseph - or at least a few lines from it.
“Warning” by Jenny Joseph
When I am an old woman I shall wear purple,
With a red hat which doesn’t go, and doesn’t suit me.
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves,
And satin sandals, and say we’ve no money for butter.
They are fabulous words and ones that I dwell on a lot more as I get a little older and start to view some of the more ridiculous patriarchal stereotypes from the ‘other side’ of the lens.
Another particularly irritating phrase that crops up a lot is when newer (mainly younger) knitters* refer to themselves as being in their ‘old lady era’ - for taking up a hobby seen as being the preserve of older women.
*for brevity, I am using the word knitter here but really it refers to the whole of the fibre arts - crochet, spinning, lace making etc.
There is so much wrong with the twin horrors of ageism and sexism attached to the ‘old lady era’ thing that I don’t know where to start. But quite often even just pointing it out unleashes the kind of backlash that I just don’t have the energy for these days - at least not on social media.
I would rather fight the stereotypes one person at a time, in person. By modelling what crafting, what slow fashion, what handknitting means to me and those around me. By teaching and passing on my skills to as many people as I can and in as many ways as I can.
The way I see it, the more younger people of all backgrounds who we can expose to handcrafts, who get to experience the satisfaction of crafting their own clothes, the better.
It’s the perfect antidote to the fast fashion, insta-fix of online shopping, and it will firmly banish the ‘old lady’ stereotypes into the dustbin of history at the same time.
This essay is part of a series (No. 13 I think) in my submissions for the 24 Essays Club, kindly hosted by
Interesting. I live in Finland and they teach knitting, sewing and other textile crafts from the first grade at school. I saw a statistic the other day that 46% of Norwegians knit. By introducing these skills at a young age they become normal rather than being seen as something someone does later in life.
And what a shame people are so judgemental.
The sadness of others judgement is very real. I feel like starting a "let's age disgracefully with joy" or something like that. I am sure someone can come up with a better written title! Ty for the article, it is hard to be an older person sometimes.