I’ve done 2 houses in the last 4 years. One, my in laws had lived in since 1963 and threw out NOTHING. The other, my mom, who is still alive, gave me sleepless nights of guilt. I’m watching my brother downsize and get rid of most of their furniture, antiques from his in laws. They are enjoying buying smaller pieces for themselves instead of carting the ancestors. After all this, we have started tossing stuff.
It's definitely a "time of life" thing isn't it. There's nothing like having to sort through a lifetime of accumulated stuff, to make you more aware of your own belongings.
I cleared my stepfather’s and mother’s house. They were both hoarders and I had no help from step brother or sister bar one of them breaking into the house and removing the survival items of fridge, cooker, kettle and hoover for when I was staying and complaining when the “one item they wanted” had been taken down to the charity shop despite having been offered numerous chances to come a collect what was important to them. They lived locally whereas I lived 250 miles away and a single mother.
It took 18mths because there was important stuff in the piles of detritus. I lost valuable time with my son and never imagined it would take so much time … time I couldn’t get back and he needed me. It was an emotionally charged process, the sifting exhausting , I got to know the local tip lads on first name basis . The most painful thing was finding some paperwork of my mother’s she had saved to prove she wasn’t cheating social security from when I was a child . She had been called an immoral undeserving woman by a Social Security inspector and felt terrified he would be back every month to see she was using to her small allowance properly. She noted exactly how much money she spent on milk powder and nappies to the last penny. She kept them all in order, neatly in a box since 1963 . She took the box from house to house for decades. I wept, wished we could have shared a moment over tea and biscuits, hugged and then burnt that box of trauma. She carried it long after she ever should have done. She didn’t need to do it alone either.
We owe it to ourselves and to those who have to pack our life away to take the time while we can and curate our belongings. Letting things go is a healthy part of the flow of life as is keeping that that gives us joy.
I, too, have a penchant for one of a kind skeins of sock yarn. And way too much of it. You would think after I’d had to clean out my own mother’s large house stuffed full of belongings (and a two car garage to boot!) I would be a bit more apt to keep my clutter and possessions down, but no. Swedish death cleaning has been on my agenda for 2024. You’ve inspired me to get back to it.
This concept has really been on my mind lately. I’m on a real mission to get rid of everything in my house that’s not strictly essential. But it’s soooo hard to do! I’m tackling it one drawer at a time!
I cleaned out my grandparents' house when my grandmother died. they were huge fans of Thoreau and embraced the idea of simple living. there was nothing in the basement but one small closet of camping equipment, nothing in the attic but a box of their love letters. the rooms were all the same. I emptied out sparse closets and bedrooms and invited the cousins over a few times to pick what they wanted. it was easy. and I know I need to get to that place.
there is no one to leave things to. so the only big plan I have is to write about my mom, who was one of the loveliest people on earth, and put it on the back of her paintings in the hope they don't get thrown away when I'm gone.
I love Swedish death cleaning. Having witnessed family members declutter after the death of a loved one, I would like to spare my daughters when it comes to that as much as I can.
I regularly declutter. It's amazing what you accumulate over time and I'm only in my 30s.
A couple of years ago, I read about the Swedish death cleaning and the first thing I started doing was stop buying more yarn unless it is for a specific project. I am now making a humongous hexagon blanket with left over fingering weight yarn. I also took this decision as the kids are not into any craft, except the occasional drawing or painting, so leaving yarn for them would be meaningless. :) I am also giving away clothes and books as and when I am done with them. However, it does feel liberating to declutter. :)
Absolutely agree. Since being aware of SDC I have become much more mindful of what I bring into the house. At the very least it has to be a 1 in, 1 out rule and ideally more going out than coming in.
There's such a tendency to not speak about death isn't there, a real reluctance. I can understand it in a way, it's not a comfortable subject after all. But it's very much inevitable.
Things! They are so different for each of us. And of course, they are so different in their own right. One person's old treadle sewing machine needs to go to the dump and for another it is what they have been hoping to find. For me things are a bit like the breadcrumbs in Hanzel and Grettle. Things can take me to a moment in my past that could be all but lost without that thing. The past still holds some magic that the present seems to have lost. In the past I can remember when there were neighborhoods where people knew one another and could share a conversation about this and that. It is not that I want to save everything. In fact, much of what others might treasure, I would toss. It is something like three little rubber dinosaurs that my mother kept on her TV set that I want to hang on to for the memory of her humor.
The Minimalists have this saying that goes something like, ‘Our memories are in us, not in our things’ and I find it to be true and applicable to most situations. When my grandmother died, there were some items that came to me, but over the years, those items have gone to people and places that will truly enjoy them. I am not a person who needs nor likes a lot of stuff and too much of it makes me anxious. I did however, keep the photographs that were passed down to me from her and I placed them in a nice little album and I truly enjoy looking at them ✨
Boy do I have stash! I lived on the east coast of the USA so wool is a wonderful thing when cold weather hits. But I moved to Texas where it is more windy and hot. There are still cold months and I am trying to knit simple sweaters to put on and use what I have. There are also shawls to be made, and I am on the fence about socks. There is a bag of swatches that I should piece together for a crazy quilt and heavy duty yarn for really heavy duty sweaters.
Because of politics I am buying more books because our library has not bought books for five plus years. Books are then exchanged amongst friends for their reading. I have a stack of unread books in queue. I also have audio books for long car rides. In texas there are long car rides because it is so freaking far away from one thing or another, yes, Texas is that big.
I have told my knitting group that if I should pass away to have a party and go through my stash. Hubby will provide ice tea, maybe munchie and books, yarn, loom, magazines, and whatever will be sold. Hopefully they bring him really good Mexican food as a thank you. I have noticed that as more of us age we are on a different time table. Stores, like yarn stores especially may want to consider a side business of “estate yarn sales.”
Oh, I love that idea and I love that it can be something that is turned into a celebration of a knitters life rather than a sad chore. Maybe, as you say it will become more of a thing as we age and want our yarn to go to those who we know would love it.
After having 3 legacy's of stash to deal with in 2 years, I thought I had finally got what I wanted to keep amalgamated into my stash and had it organised, like with like. However, we're packing to move house, without yet having a new house to actually move into straight away and it's overwhelming. Other half says to just move it all but there's no rush, so just make sure you have access still to be creative. Yes, but which type of creative??? Knitting - socks, blanket or cardigan? Quilting - hand or machine piecing? Hand or machine quilting? Do I leave out all of my stencils? How much thread??? Why does there seem to be no space despite having being ruthless 3 times with non-patchwork fabric??? And a house full of packed boxes is definitely not conducive to a mind calm enough to actually make anything....
We tended to accumulate stuff but moving countries twice made us seriously downsize our stuff. I found it liberating. I do have a lot of books and try to keep taking them to the charity shops after I read them. I've had a big wool purge to friends and turned a lot into garments. I have chosen who will get my wool and material already.
Food for thought! Here's a link to a video series I enjoyed on the subject of all of us probably having wayyyy "too much craft materials" in our stashes:
Goodness what a read! Thank you for sharing, firstly the concept and secondly your own experience. I know I am going to have to deal with this in the (hopefully reasonably distant) future and I know it is going to be high volume and high stress. In comparison, my in-laws downsized several years ago and did a big clear-out with exactly this in mind. My MIL lost her first husband to cancer at a young age and I am certain this led to their decision to to do so. I am long overdue a proper clear-out in my own home - my last was when I moved into my now husband's one bedroom flat 6 years ago! - and while I don't have children who will have to deal with it all, someone definitely will. The weight that lifted even after a relatively small amount of clutter cleared out was noticeable - knowing I had sorted through some painful memories was deeply soothing.
The past several years, I have organized my stuff into movable, stackable bins that make it easy to access but also easy to move or toss. Then there are the things that if left on place, would easily ease the next owner of my house into home ownership, like all the lawn maintenance things like a mower, blower, trimmer, fertilizer… and an organized set of spare parts and tools for plumbing, electrical, hvac… all of which can just go with the house on a sale… clothes are in bins and I never have more than I can store.
And of course, I have the “shoebox” of small personal items that mark significant events of my life. But my digital assets? Whoo, boy. That is gonna be a challenge….
I’ve done 2 houses in the last 4 years. One, my in laws had lived in since 1963 and threw out NOTHING. The other, my mom, who is still alive, gave me sleepless nights of guilt. I’m watching my brother downsize and get rid of most of their furniture, antiques from his in laws. They are enjoying buying smaller pieces for themselves instead of carting the ancestors. After all this, we have started tossing stuff.
It's definitely a "time of life" thing isn't it. There's nothing like having to sort through a lifetime of accumulated stuff, to make you more aware of your own belongings.
I cleared my stepfather’s and mother’s house. They were both hoarders and I had no help from step brother or sister bar one of them breaking into the house and removing the survival items of fridge, cooker, kettle and hoover for when I was staying and complaining when the “one item they wanted” had been taken down to the charity shop despite having been offered numerous chances to come a collect what was important to them. They lived locally whereas I lived 250 miles away and a single mother.
It took 18mths because there was important stuff in the piles of detritus. I lost valuable time with my son and never imagined it would take so much time … time I couldn’t get back and he needed me. It was an emotionally charged process, the sifting exhausting , I got to know the local tip lads on first name basis . The most painful thing was finding some paperwork of my mother’s she had saved to prove she wasn’t cheating social security from when I was a child . She had been called an immoral undeserving woman by a Social Security inspector and felt terrified he would be back every month to see she was using to her small allowance properly. She noted exactly how much money she spent on milk powder and nappies to the last penny. She kept them all in order, neatly in a box since 1963 . She took the box from house to house for decades. I wept, wished we could have shared a moment over tea and biscuits, hugged and then burnt that box of trauma. She carried it long after she ever should have done. She didn’t need to do it alone either.
We owe it to ourselves and to those who have to pack our life away to take the time while we can and curate our belongings. Letting things go is a healthy part of the flow of life as is keeping that that gives us joy.
I, too, have a penchant for one of a kind skeins of sock yarn. And way too much of it. You would think after I’d had to clean out my own mother’s large house stuffed full of belongings (and a two car garage to boot!) I would be a bit more apt to keep my clutter and possessions down, but no. Swedish death cleaning has been on my agenda for 2024. You’ve inspired me to get back to it.
This concept has really been on my mind lately. I’m on a real mission to get rid of everything in my house that’s not strictly essential. But it’s soooo hard to do! I’m tackling it one drawer at a time!
I cleaned out my grandparents' house when my grandmother died. they were huge fans of Thoreau and embraced the idea of simple living. there was nothing in the basement but one small closet of camping equipment, nothing in the attic but a box of their love letters. the rooms were all the same. I emptied out sparse closets and bedrooms and invited the cousins over a few times to pick what they wanted. it was easy. and I know I need to get to that place.
there is no one to leave things to. so the only big plan I have is to write about my mom, who was one of the loveliest people on earth, and put it on the back of her paintings in the hope they don't get thrown away when I'm gone.
What an amazing story. And I love your idea to write about your mum. That's such a lovely way to pass on your memories.
I love Swedish death cleaning. Having witnessed family members declutter after the death of a loved one, I would like to spare my daughters when it comes to that as much as I can.
I regularly declutter. It's amazing what you accumulate over time and I'm only in my 30s.
A couple of years ago, I read about the Swedish death cleaning and the first thing I started doing was stop buying more yarn unless it is for a specific project. I am now making a humongous hexagon blanket with left over fingering weight yarn. I also took this decision as the kids are not into any craft, except the occasional drawing or painting, so leaving yarn for them would be meaningless. :) I am also giving away clothes and books as and when I am done with them. However, it does feel liberating to declutter. :)
Absolutely agree. Since being aware of SDC I have become much more mindful of what I bring into the house. At the very least it has to be a 1 in, 1 out rule and ideally more going out than coming in.
Brilliant piece of writing. So important to talk about these things.
There's such a tendency to not speak about death isn't there, a real reluctance. I can understand it in a way, it's not a comfortable subject after all. But it's very much inevitable.
Things! They are so different for each of us. And of course, they are so different in their own right. One person's old treadle sewing machine needs to go to the dump and for another it is what they have been hoping to find. For me things are a bit like the breadcrumbs in Hanzel and Grettle. Things can take me to a moment in my past that could be all but lost without that thing. The past still holds some magic that the present seems to have lost. In the past I can remember when there were neighborhoods where people knew one another and could share a conversation about this and that. It is not that I want to save everything. In fact, much of what others might treasure, I would toss. It is something like three little rubber dinosaurs that my mother kept on her TV set that I want to hang on to for the memory of her humor.
The Minimalists have this saying that goes something like, ‘Our memories are in us, not in our things’ and I find it to be true and applicable to most situations. When my grandmother died, there were some items that came to me, but over the years, those items have gone to people and places that will truly enjoy them. I am not a person who needs nor likes a lot of stuff and too much of it makes me anxious. I did however, keep the photographs that were passed down to me from her and I placed them in a nice little album and I truly enjoy looking at them ✨
Oh, that's such a lovely, personal thing to have. I love the idea of leaving small thoughtful things for everyone
Boy do I have stash! I lived on the east coast of the USA so wool is a wonderful thing when cold weather hits. But I moved to Texas where it is more windy and hot. There are still cold months and I am trying to knit simple sweaters to put on and use what I have. There are also shawls to be made, and I am on the fence about socks. There is a bag of swatches that I should piece together for a crazy quilt and heavy duty yarn for really heavy duty sweaters.
Because of politics I am buying more books because our library has not bought books for five plus years. Books are then exchanged amongst friends for their reading. I have a stack of unread books in queue. I also have audio books for long car rides. In texas there are long car rides because it is so freaking far away from one thing or another, yes, Texas is that big.
I have told my knitting group that if I should pass away to have a party and go through my stash. Hubby will provide ice tea, maybe munchie and books, yarn, loom, magazines, and whatever will be sold. Hopefully they bring him really good Mexican food as a thank you. I have noticed that as more of us age we are on a different time table. Stores, like yarn stores especially may want to consider a side business of “estate yarn sales.”
Oh, I love that idea and I love that it can be something that is turned into a celebration of a knitters life rather than a sad chore. Maybe, as you say it will become more of a thing as we age and want our yarn to go to those who we know would love it.
After having 3 legacy's of stash to deal with in 2 years, I thought I had finally got what I wanted to keep amalgamated into my stash and had it organised, like with like. However, we're packing to move house, without yet having a new house to actually move into straight away and it's overwhelming. Other half says to just move it all but there's no rush, so just make sure you have access still to be creative. Yes, but which type of creative??? Knitting - socks, blanket or cardigan? Quilting - hand or machine piecing? Hand or machine quilting? Do I leave out all of my stencils? How much thread??? Why does there seem to be no space despite having being ruthless 3 times with non-patchwork fabric??? And a house full of packed boxes is definitely not conducive to a mind calm enough to actually make anything....
Absolutely agree. It's so easy to feel overwhelmed by everything - and for me that just kills my creativity stone dead.
We tended to accumulate stuff but moving countries twice made us seriously downsize our stuff. I found it liberating. I do have a lot of books and try to keep taking them to the charity shops after I read them. I've had a big wool purge to friends and turned a lot into garments. I have chosen who will get my wool and material already.
I find there's a natural impetus, once you get going it's easier to throw things away. It's overcoming that initial inertia.
Food for thought! Here's a link to a video series I enjoyed on the subject of all of us probably having wayyyy "too much craft materials" in our stashes:
https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLkwiz6milmmOzQHb_Lrsi3CwmXrsAlqy4&si=EbPBQ-m0yLQixHSP
There's also a great tv series by/with Amy Sedaries called "Swedish Death Cleaning " - recommend it!
Oh that's fantastic, thank you
Goodness what a read! Thank you for sharing, firstly the concept and secondly your own experience. I know I am going to have to deal with this in the (hopefully reasonably distant) future and I know it is going to be high volume and high stress. In comparison, my in-laws downsized several years ago and did a big clear-out with exactly this in mind. My MIL lost her first husband to cancer at a young age and I am certain this led to their decision to to do so. I am long overdue a proper clear-out in my own home - my last was when I moved into my now husband's one bedroom flat 6 years ago! - and while I don't have children who will have to deal with it all, someone definitely will. The weight that lifted even after a relatively small amount of clutter cleared out was noticeable - knowing I had sorted through some painful memories was deeply soothing.
The past several years, I have organized my stuff into movable, stackable bins that make it easy to access but also easy to move or toss. Then there are the things that if left on place, would easily ease the next owner of my house into home ownership, like all the lawn maintenance things like a mower, blower, trimmer, fertilizer… and an organized set of spare parts and tools for plumbing, electrical, hvac… all of which can just go with the house on a sale… clothes are in bins and I never have more than I can store.
And of course, I have the “shoebox” of small personal items that mark significant events of my life. But my digital assets? Whoo, boy. That is gonna be a challenge….
Oof, digital assets is such a big job isn't it. And as a society I don't think we have systems in place to deal with this effectively yet.